I think it could be possible to perceive others without judging or categorizing them, however I don't think it is likely to do so. Right when we see someone, hear someone or talk to someone, we judge them and categorize them. As much as I would like to say I am the exception, I'm not. If I see someone, for instance a girl my age, I either think "she knows she's pretty", "she thinks she is better than everyone else", "she's 'interesting'", etc. I immediately judge someone, I'm human and I know it's something we do. Our minds are so powerful, I try not to judge people or categorize them, but every now and again it slips. We need to learn to meet people, get to know them, understand them before we categorize and judge. This slight change can help us to make our judgments less harsh. We need to learn to not be so quick to judge. This could change the way we feel about a lot of people. For an example, I met a girl about 5 years ago and I was not pleased with her impression, I was quick to say I would never be her friend, 5 years later, she is still my best friend of 4 and a half years.
I agree with you that we need to learn to get to know people before we judge them. But I also think it goes deeper than that and that we need to have more prior knowledge of the people around us and more acceptance that we cannot know everything about the people around us and their life story. We should never dismiss someone we have just met, although that is oh so easy and common. First impressions are not always the best ones for any number of reasons, which is why we must hold judgement until we know more about the situation and the person. Your friend is a great example of this. And I am inclined to say that women are far worse at this harsh pre-judging of other women than men are. But I could be completely wrong about that.
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