I Think the rigid complementarity might be the hardest to change because when someone is use to controlling another person, they usually like the overpowering feeling so they find no point in trying to change. I think that the most damaging to a relationship would be the competitive symmetry because if you are constantly competing you will cause arguments which could end up into abuse and result in a break-up. I think that the most damaging to the self-esteem of the individual would be the rigid complementarity. If one of the spouses is controlling over the other, that causes problems because then you have one controlling the relationship and one who is told to obey the other. The one being controlled will then lose self-esteem because they are constantly being forced to do things they may not want to which then causes problems for the individual being controlled. Relationships that are healthy would include a sense of equal involvement.
I was debating between rigid and competitive. I chose competitive for both change and damage. I could see how rigid is just as hard to change because of the control issue the person might have and I could see how that would be damaging to the other person's self esteem. I think that control is a big issue in many cultures. I can never date someone who thinks that they are the "man" and they make all the rules. This isn't 16th century and I'm not a slave therefore I will not be living by some dudes rules. I did once date someone like that and it damaged me inside and out. I had no self-esteem and I felt totally closed out form the whole world. Once I broke it off I felt like I was given a chance to live once again now I'm a different, much stronger individual.
ReplyDeleteI think to a point I do agree with rigid complementarity being hard to change because of overpowerment, but then again I think that it is possible to go from being someone who likes to overpower in a relationship to being more mellow. I’ve had to do it before…it was hard but it did happen. However, I do agree 100% that competitive symmetry is most damaging to any relationship. I was never “controlling” but I guess I did call all of the shots and that’s why my relationship kind of went down hill. It is very true that equal involvement is what keeps a relationship healthy.
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